The Legend of Ol’ Goldie

The future looks fishy

Short Review:

Childhood can be rough.  As adults we like to think that children live in a magical, saccharine, Disney-esque world, full of singing bunnies, wonder and magic.  This idea is a new one, historically speaking, fostered by the purveyors of Happy Meals and children’s entertainment.  In reality, children live in a world of horror and loneliness, just like the rest of us.  We may not admit it, but subconsciously we all know.  Oh, we try to cheer them with sugary breakfast cereal shaped like Shrek or a shiny new bike made by other children in a Chinese sweatshop. We want to lighten the pain, though we cruelly denying them the alcoholic beverages and pills that make adult life tolerable.

Some children, usually those whose parents don’t buy them sugary cereal and shiny bicycles,  carry on with their own survival strategies.  I knew a girl who had an imaginary friend.  She insisted that her friend was real and would talk about him at length, never letting her assertions slip.  I thought this was cool.  The closest I could get to that was visualizing Godzilla stomping my hometown and eating my father.  The Legend of Ol’ Goldie splits the different between the two.

In The Legend of Ol’ Goldie we follow a lonely little boy who has a ravenous goldfish that is growing and growing and growing.  Goldie is clearly his best and only friend.

The creature effects are  obviosuly CGI, but still a definite notch above the “SyFy Originals.”   This should be a source of embarrassment for the Syfy Channel, not only does The Legend of Ol’ Goldie out-gun them in effects, but also in style.  Each stage of Goldie’s development yields a different look and original look.  Goldie is way superior to the likes of Dinoshark.

Effects, aside, The Legend of Ol’ Goldie is an entertaining little movie, like a lovely slice of old style EC comics brought to life.

For a limited time you can see it here:

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